"All of these lines across my face tell you the story of who I am, so many stories of where I've been and how I got to where I am."
Today I was hit by an alarming fact: my son will graduate from high school in 2024. That's right. 2024. That sounds so futuristic. I mean, won't we be wearing jet packs and silver jumpsuits by then? Will I still be alive then?
His school had a school festival today with a parade of all the classes today. Each class walked out onto the football field with a banner announcing their year of graduation held proudly in front, just like the countries and their flags in the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. At first, my son's class didn't appear (he's in Pre-K). And then, at the end, the class of 2011 (to which my stepson belongs) walked out with the Pre-K class and a banner saying Alpha and Omega. My stepson was carrying my son on his back. I was so excited to have both of them together on the field. It was so great! I was clapping and telling everyone around me to look at them.
But then the cold hard fact of that year sank in. I know that life and death are not things that we have much control over, but I really need to do more to ensure my longevity. But there is no reason to think I won't see the major events of his life barring some accident or illness. I have lived several lifetimes up to now anyway. I was saying to a friend of mine that I don't even remember being Becki Bryant. It feels like I've always been Becki Jolly. I suppose that means that it is the way it is supposed to be. I have a good life right now and I'm quite happy, but I am feeling my age. I am exhausted by spending the whole day at Curran's school and my back was killing me before it was over. How will I be in 13 years?!
But I'm not the only one in this position. Lots of people wait to have children and things turn out ok. I guess I need to think about the present as that is the only guarantee. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, they say.